So I was putting my stuff out on the front lawn this monring when it was about 25 degrees. It was dark andmost were not even up for going to the house of the Lord yet. I was wondering to myself, “Who on earth would have a yard sale on Sunday?? In my mind I could see myself raising my hand and chiming “I will, I will!” I had to because we never ever know here what the weather is like. Sunny, Sunny Sunny!, until it is time fore an outdoor activity and then it rains. Last week, it snowed and rqained when the sunwas supposed to shine. High of 62 and lots of wind. The only thing right about that was wind. Anyway, so stuff went out on the lawn and with no advertisment, made about $50 in just a fvew hours. Put everything up about noonish and going to someplace other than home to watch Peyton choke (I hope so anyway) again. So how is this for mundane?
The art of sleeplessness blamed on CNN
I can’t sleep, and it is not for any particular reason. It has been a pretty good day, nothing extraordinary or unusual. Dogs didn’t die, the cats didn’t get stuck in any trees and the family and friends I had yesterday are still here today. I know, it must be because of politics…What? Politics? Surely you jest. Maybe and maybe not. I mean, we have not even hit the first primary yet and I am sick of hearing about politics. Hillary this, Obama that, Mitt who? Brownback?? yawn….Newt? ZZZZZZZZ, Dennis? OMG, not another nightmare. Stop the political madness. I guess the next step is a webcamin Hillary’s bedroom, so we can watch her sleep, or a minicam in Obama’s cereal box, just so we can all make sure he has had his Wheaties…When will it all stop. Ya know, there was a time right after 9-11 when the idiocy of the regular so-called news casts were revealed for what they really are…irrelevant. Thus, we also — at least for a split second — realized that there is still such a thing as common sense in America. Hmmm, if that is the case, then why am I still awake? Why I am I still looking at Drudge, Fox and MSNBC to find out why Mitt is such a scary guy to some, and instead reading about Britney Spears’ so-called comeback or the latest rant between Rosie “Fat Slob” O’Donnell and Donald “really bad hair” Trump? I mean what really gives and why are we Americans still losing are marbles over irrelevant crap like this? Worse yet, why am I losing sleep over this? Maybe I can still catch the latest episode of “Cheaters” provided Saturday Night Live doesn’t put me to sleep first.
Another man’s junk
Well, yesterday was gound hog day. The day where Americans wait with baited breath to see if a rodent in Pennsylvania can see his shadow. Why or why do we do that? Either way, spring will come when it will come. Central Texas will see its famed bluebonnets blooming and the mountaisn outside my window will see the melting snow turn the valleys green again, until summer gets here that is. Well for two days we’ve had swun. Sun glorious sun!!! And of course, today is a glorious day. Why? It is the day before — hopefully — that Peyton Manning chokes (again) and da Bears are champs again. It is also the day before my yard sale…It is 11ish, the sun is shing (thanks God) and we are rolling off a new foam mattress to start making a few signs and pull a few items into the yard for tomorrow. My lady’s pal Cindy is supposed to help with this. I picked up a truck load of things, mostly kids stuff to sell, and of course there are grown up people stuff. An over-sized alarm clock, books, old cassettes, dishes a coffee pot and of course, clothes. I am not sure how m uch we’ll make on this pre-Super Bowl endeavor, but we shall see.
Well Ho Hum
OK, First let me say that if I have offended anyone out there with these posts, and I do mean anyone, I am sincerely and profoundly sorry. that is certainly never my intent and those of you who know me, understand I don’t go out of my way to aggravate anyone. You know who you are. Still love me??? With that being said…HI! How is everyone in the whole wide world? Bryan is peachy. You know when they say it is darkest right before the dawn? Yeah, well it is. I will admit, it has been pretty darned bleak, but I have decided that it is not worth my time to whine and it certainly isn’t worth yours to read about it. So, what did I do today? Geez, the day is not even over. Well, lets start with Central Texas. The mulch pile is still buring in Helotes and it has been making every person I know in that area sick. My children live a stones throw from the burning mess and they have been out of school more often than not. I suppose they are fine. My oldest goes to New York on a senior trip next month. She is pretty happy about that. I am a bit apprehensive that she is doing that, but she is 18. Doesn’t keep me from worrying though. My others are doing pretty good, so they have told me. As for other things, I sent in my first freelance piece Monday. It was accepted, but this guy, who used to be an AP reporter, takes a little getting used to. For those of you who know me, I am sure you can relate to that. The Times is still keeping me on the wire. Spoke to the guy Wednesday and he is kinda keeping me at bay for now. It’s kinda like giving half a bone to a hungry dog. OK, Friend update….As you recall, my former fellow reporter — Bill O’Connell — and myself have remained in touch. The now-Ft. Stewart army soldier was recently promoted to E-4 and will be part of the 20,000 troop surge to Iraq. He seems ready. It is what he went back in for…I can relate to that totally. He leaves in May. I just hope the boy comes back in one piece, but from what I understand of war, you always leave a big piece of you on some empty field, whether it is your own blood or a part of your soul. Finally, the groundhawg didnt see his shadow, and that is wonderful news. Why, well on the good side, it means that I can watch the snow melt off the mountains, look forward to warmer days and I don’t have to bring the dogs in at night anymore, unless it rains. The bad news, I have to start cutting grass, until it dies and then I can start raking sand. Those of you who’ve ever been to west Texas, well you understand….Well a ham sandwich is calling my name, so I will bid all of you toodles. XXXOOO BLK
Mudslinging a political slope
Omigosh! The ides of political speak, primaries and broken promises is upon us. I know this because “Billary” is running for president. I knew I’d see the day that she’d run, but I never believed she’d have the balls to compare herself to Margaret Thatcher. Uh, don’t think so Billary. Thatcher had class and stood by her principles. Can you say Rose Law Firm, Whitewater? I mean the gall of this woman. Moving on, and starting from the bottom there is a host of people who deem themselves worthy of national leadership/ How about Dennis Whatsisname. He is sorter than that guy who runs Iran. I image that in the name of diplomacy these two will get together — if the little D were elected — they’d paint their nails and talk about what it might like to be five feet tall. Then there is Tommy Vilsack. His name along conjures visions of a gay boy scout camp and lots of Vaseline. Geez there are so many Dems that they seem to fall through the political cracks. Oh yeah, John Edwards. Right now, I were a Democrat, I would vote for him or Obama. Edwards though is a bit of a pretty boy. He was a smart-ass kid who I bet got his ass beat routinely. Obama. IN the Democratic field, I think I like him best of all. Sharp and fresher than what we have yet seen. It is because of him the Republicans are doomed. McCain? Puleeze. I like him, but if he can’t beat GW, then why run again. Don’t get me wrong, I love McCain and I think he will get the nomination, but I also believe he is this years Bob Dole/John Kerry, etc..Newt? How about NOT. Rudy. HE kicked ass in NY, why not in DC. I liike this guy too the rest of them…Mitt, Mike Huckabee, Brownback? Lemons. My pick is a McCain/Guilliani ticket facing Obama/Edwards 08 with Obama winning by a small margin. Why? Black man from the north with Southern white guy covers the bases and erases the so called Thatcheresque Billary from the ticket. At least that is my hope. Either way Obama gets the nod….Now sit back and watch the mudslinging begin
The art of doing nothing and rolling zeros
It’s amazing how difficult it is to do nothing at all. No really. I know a lot of people would kill to do nothing all day, but I am not one of them. I have actually been pretty busy. Took my girlfrield to the doctor and filed my tax return, which by the way resulted in me owing $77. Of course I realized I am not done. I have business expenses to claim, so this may be just want I needed. I had forgotten about that until the lady who was helping with my taxes asked about the business, which is actually on hold now…Uh, graphic design and a newspaper. Wait a minute, I took a loss during that time. Printers, ink cartridges, paper out the wazoo, marketing materials etc…”You can claim that. I will put your return on hold.” I was very grateful being that I had only $12 in my pocket and a subzero checking account. I told her jokingly, “I hope there is a refund, otherwise I can’t pay you.” Tada!!! I was kinda shocked. I had to empty out the ole 401K to get moved after paying for most of my father’s final expenses and paying off my outstanding debt…I think this is is called the cirlce of life, but I would rather call it rolling zeros. Or better yet, rollng in zeros. Mind you, there are no other digits in front of those zeros so that kind of sucks. Oddly, while I have been apprehensive, I have a feeling things are gonna change. I kinda have to feel that way because the alternative is curling up in a ball and weeping uncontrollably after I make my “Will Work for Food” sign. Nope. I have one freelance piece I have to knock out tomorrow and then, who knows. At any rate, if anyone out there is reading this and mummuring to themselves “That poor bastard deserves what he’s getting.” That’s okay as long as you pray for me somewhere before and after that revelation…
Ooops More Seguinites
Ok, after the last post, I was reminded that maybe I left a few out…Sorry about that. Kinda figured with 25,000 folks I would get a break. So there is Doreen who works in the county judges office. She has there for four years and replaced another “een sister” Davene who had been there for like a dozen lifetimes it seems. The running bet is that when Doreen leaves, Irene, Lurleen, Shirlene, Kathleen and BobbiJean will be there with bells on. Lest I forget all the wonderful ladies in the clerks office. They were always so sweet and had time to ask about the family. There was Kathy and Debbie and Debbie and a few others who were moving to other departments when I was leaving…How about those bailiffs at the courthouse. I have seen their fingers so you don’t want an body cavity search pal. Curtis, who was gruff and always looked like he’d eaten cactus for breakfast. Judge Frank Follis who’s easy manner has a way of putting you on your guard. It’s kind of like, this: “Hi, heard you were driving drunk and had a little reefer in the car. You are so screwed. Next case.” Police Chief Collazo, whom I considered a friend when I left there. Now I just don’t know. I left a l ot of good friends behind at the PD though. Deputy Chief Reno Reily, Capt. Mike Rosas, Mike Watts, “Mo-Reen” (yeah another een sister) Watson, Jerry Hernandez, Johhny San Miguel…the list goes on. You notice I don’t talk much about my former colleagues. That is because I left there not of my own accord. No I was not fired or laid off, but lets just say you always have to watch your back in the newspaper world. Yep, that chapter is closeed and is now collecting dust. Back to the good stuff, Jack I loved talking with you about anything and everything. You always kept me guessing. Finally, there is Marylee, who was probably the oldest gossip columnist in Texas by far. She was sweeter than peach pie and always seemed to know whose feelings got hurt first and knew how to fix them. I loved the hats and genuine sweetness. She will always have a special place in my heart….
Hill Country Blues
That title kinda sounds like a country music song doesn’t it? Maybe I can get George Strait or Kenny Chesney to record it for me and then I can quit worrying about things. But in the West Texas Town of El Paso ( an actual country song) it is cold. It was not suppose to snow this morning, but it did. It started no sooner than I put the dogs back outside, when I looked out and saw these biiiig white flakes. I used to think snow was really something special and fun, now I detest it. It has snowed quite a bit this year in El Paso, and I know I have seen it at least six times. Where it used to be fun, it now makes me long for the humidity and mountain cedar of Central Texas. Mostly though, I just miss my children. I have not seem my oldest and youngest since Thanksgiving and I have not seen my middle daughter since before my birthday in September. I miss them all terribly and missing them just makes me a little homesick (insert heavy sigh here). Anyway life goes on for a little while longer. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a job with the El Paso Times and I have a few freelance irons in the fire so maybe something will pan out, no it has to pan out. In the meantime, I shall pass the time tell someone, anyone about the former beat I worked in Seguin (pronounced Suh-geen). The paper was small and it was a place I sometimes enjoyed and sometimes detested for six of my adult years. I had bosses who were moderately competent and others who could not find their way out of an empty parking lot. The best though were some of the folks who live in that sometimes quiet little place on the Guadalupe River. There is Sheriff Arnold Zwicke, who probably thinks I dislike him still, when in reality, I never disliked him at all. Arnold is a good ole boy born and raised in Guadalupe County. He tries to be serious, but for the most part I think he finds it pretty hard, because he just knows everyone. I have seen him mad and I have even raised my voice at him a few times when he and I locked horns, but I never held a grudge. It can be funny when he is pissed though because he gets really red-faced and turns into a cop. Sir and Ma’am replace the first and last name of the person he is talking to when he gets his dander up. Then there is the former county judge, Donald Schraub. Donald for the lack of a more accurate description, has issues. In fact, I think he owns the entire subscription. He has been known to say “things” that people never forget. Thus, we coined the phrase “Schraubisms” One of the greatest was the term “technicolor lawyerese” which is used in this context….”Don’t you try any of your technicolor lawyerese on me, Mr. Greenfeld.” Yes, he said that and I got to quote him. Donald recently was replaced by Mike Wiggins, who is a former Texas State trooper. Mike is always smiling, which makes me wonder if he is having my house surveiled. It is damned unnerving…Actually, I like Mike Wiggins and only wish I could have sat in his court….There are others. There is Tavie Murphy, the bodacious Tax Assessor-Collector with a West Texas Twang and a hot temper. Teresa Kiel who followed in her mothers footsteps and became the county clerk. Want to know what is going on? You may want to ask Teresa. She works at the county courthouse and privy to everything and I do mean everything. As a reporter, I could always trust Teresa. There is County Court-at-Law Judge Linda Jones, who’s husband used to be the County treasurer, until he decided to run for county judge before retiring. Her husband Larry, who was always good for a quote or two, lost his bid to Donald in 2002. Talk about an ugly race. Linda had a reputation of her own. She works with the kids as the juvenile judge and nobody does it better than she does. She has brought the agricultural county from the 19th to the 21st century when it comes to being the kids judge. I heard a lot of stories about Linda from her lawyering days where she locked horns with a good ole boy or two, but I just don’t know. Bob Grafe, a good friend of mine and a mentor, works for Linda as the Juvenile Chief. When Bob is not helping the kids in Guadalupe County, he is trying to fend of the advances of three district judges who seem to have an axe to grind with him. Last month, Bob temporarily lost his job, but after the district judges received enough angry phone calls, they declared a “mistrial” and reversed their decision, at least for now. All I can say is wisdom and fair judgement does not always reside behind a black robe. State Rep. Edmund Kuempel is about as Guadalupe County as you can get. Edmund has served in the state legislature since 1986 and has kissed more babies than Richard Nixon, John Kennedy and Harry Truman combined. He is kinda like Arnold, Always smiling and happy to see everyone. He always called me “sunshine” and I never knew why. Maybe had something to do with my hawaiian shirts I wore so often and hope to graduate into again, when the damn snow stops falling. There are more Seguinites who’ve helped me realize the fun of working in such a tight knit community and made me love small town America. Maybe I’ll go back one day and tilt back a brew at the local American Legion, where I am still a member, and shake a few hands along the way. Until then, I’ll just hold on to everything inside. I’ll hope I get to see my kids again soon and I’ll hope that those people I call friend have not forgotten me because I will never forget them…
Letterman’s a rerun and there are no windmills in El Paso
It’s 11:25 p.m. and I can’t sleep. I was up for a while watching a Letterman rerun, but can only take so much of Howard Stern as Fart man. Actually I think he was wearing a Santa robe, which encourages Howie to flash us all with something more than his so-called wit. So here I sit, thinking about all the weirdness that comes with a journalism career. Then it hit me. If only Letterman knew the folks I did. Once this woman walked into the newsroom claiming she was being attacked by little white bugs. This woman allegedly collected thousands of these critters — which only she could see– and placed them in a jar. “They attach themselves to me and I catch them with Scotch tape,” she said. One of the editors, in the best poker face ever, said, “Have you been to the extension office.” Needless to say she had. I wonder what happened to her? Then, we had this guy who wanted to be a sports writer who sent us a rambling description of a Texas A&M Football game and the ensuing loss suffered by the Aggies. He took frequent breaks and managed to tell us all how many times he had to pee, what he had for breakfast and when it was med and bed time. But what struck us all was that he had the time to take a drive in the Hill Country and tell us that he’d found 14 windmills that day. But the best one of all was this colorful turd I worked with who was so light in the loafers that he levitated. Out of respect, I will not reveal his real name. We’ll just call him Armando. Oh snap, that is his name…Sorry chicka. Well Armando was really not confortable with his gayness because he was one of those paranoid fruits who thought everyone was talkng about him, and I guess we were. You see, he just looked funny. He wore horn-rimmed glasses and dyed his brown hair McDonald land red, which he was forced to re color to a more natural state. He wore tight cowboy shirts, which made him look like Chirizo with feet, and tore up jeans. with flip flops….I guess he thought he lived in San Fran, when in fact he lived in conservative blue collar Texas. One day he threw up hishands and and walked his wannabe manicured chicka ass back to Austin where he belongs. We were so fucking glad when that happened, but it left us with many found memories of the human pestilence that was and continues to be — at least somewhere — Armando. If only Letterman had known of these people, we could have been spared the Howard Stern Christmas fallacy…Maybe next time, right Dave?
Che-ah, werd and other things
I have yet to know what that means, but my 14-year old daughter says it…alot. I think it may be a slang or derivative of “shit yeah.” Yeah, I know kids will do anything to get away with cursing, and I know because I did the same thing. The more things change the more they stay the same, I always say. Kids always think they invented something, when most of the time, someone else came up with it, possible when our grandparents were our age. However, I think these kids might have the market cornered on Che-ah, phat, cheddar, bling and not to mention “grill.” If I were really a critic, I might have to stand up and applaud, but I won’t. I won’t because in a very little while, it will all be out of style, like bell -bottoms, parachute pants and Michael Jackson, and they will deny they ever said such ridiculous things, just like I deny I ever wore a leisure suit. Guess what, someone found the old photos, so there is no denying or that I ever thought David Hasselhoff was cool in Knight Rider. Well kiddos, here is your high five for imagination from yours truly. I know you ain’t hatin dis, so here’s some prose for you. Stay smart in the future…Che-ah and werd up.
